Tempted by the fruit of another

If a man loves us, then we should be able throw him into a pit pulsing with naked supermodels and he would remain true.

And by true, I mean no impure thought would enter his head.

To any woman of sane mind, this is obviously a ridiculous notion yet for most of us, it would be the ideal scenario.

When I was a matchmaker, one of the biggest causes of heartache for my clients was infidelity or at least a perceived threat of it. I don’t like to think of my husband lusting after another woman, but the very fact that he lusts after me, or at least did at one time, makes it inevitable.

So where do we draw the line? Some couples think sex outside the relationship is okay but for most of us, that is a definite taboo. And virtual sex? Well, some psychologists believe that the human brain cannot determine the difference between real and imagined encounters, so technically using porn is adultery.


And how about strip clubs, usually pitched as a crucial work commitment or stag party obligation? Is a naked woman writhing around on his groin acceptable? Is he allowed a hard-on? Is it okay for him to nip to the loo for a gentleman’s moment?

It’s just a natural urge after all.

In fact, as a modern-day woman, I am acutely aware the correct response to my husband requesting such an outing is: ‘Whoo hoo, have a great time. Or: ‘Sounds fun. Can I come too? We could have a couple’s dance.’ During which I am supposed to be turned-on by the idea of an eighteen-year-old Latvian with DDs, arousing my husband.

The traditional fairytales didn’t conclude with a Prince declaring undying love for Snow White then having the odd wank over Cinderella, the wicked step-mother, or if so inclined, the dwarf with the tightest trousers.

We aren’t the keepers of our man’s thoughts, or even the moderators of his actions but if sex and love are (greased) poles apart, then why not just opt for an open relationship?

If the line between harmless fun and cheating is as flimsy as a lap dancer’s thong, then maybe we should just rip it off and be done with it.

Or have I misunderstood the term Happy Ending?

Read more matchmaking antics in Haley Hill’s bestselling novel ‘It’s Got to Be Perfect: the memoirs of a modern-day matchmaker’

5 thoughts on “Tempted by the fruit of another

  1. I love this, at this point in my life I can only function and be true to myself and others in an open relationship. I recently broke up with my ex simply because monogamy does not work for me, I tried but something deep within gets stirred when a beautiful woman walks past me. I don’t feel like a bad person for having these feelings because as far as I’m concerned I am being true to myself, repressing those feelings made me unhappy and frustrated. I can offer a woman everything apart from exclusivity but for some that is a deal breaker.

  2. Brilliant post! I’ve been married for ten years (and with him since I was nineteen), and I can’t help but think a bit of infidelity will happen at some point. Our theory is that it’s all about timing. If we’re going through a rocky patch (usually when we’re brassic), then we think each of us is more likely to forget to rein it in when other people get flirty with us.
    However, we both know we’re in this marriage until one of us is dead, so any sexy misdemeanours will be dealt with the same way we tackled surprise pregnancy (twice), running our business and coping with the collision of two very different backgrounds.
    Head on, with a bit of shouting. But in no way a deal-breaker.

  3. An interesting discussion is worth comment. There’s no doubt that that you ought to publish more on this subject, it might not be a taboo matter but usually folks don’t speak about these subjects. To the next! Many thanks!!|

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